When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce and You Don't

When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce and You Don't
By Gillian Reynolds

When you are going through a rough patch in your marriage thoughts of separating may creep into your thoughts. It's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, many people who are at odds with their mate consider a divorce. The thought of it is much different than the reality though. When your spouse wants a divorce and tells you it can feel as though your world is crashing down around you. How you handle the situation will actually determine whether or not the marriage does end in divorce. Your actions can actually influence your spouse's decision greatly.
Your first reaction when your spouse wants a divorce may be to vehemently refuse. Crying and begging are not beneath anyone when the person they love most in the world has expressed their desire to end the relationship. Doing this can actually damage the relationship even more and further alienate your spouse. When you react in an emotionally charged way to their sharing their feelings about the relationship they may feel even more alienated from you. This can cause them to come to the conclusion that they are indeed making the right decision regarding the divorce and they'll be more determined to make it happen.
A much more productive approach is to try your best to remain calm. This will likely be incredibly hard but it's important for several reasons. By not pouting or shouting you are showing your spouse that you understand the seriousness of the situation. If you agree, at least temporarily, to a separation you are also demonstrating that you respect their wishes and want to do all you can to help them. Don't assume that your spouse will think you want a divorce as well if you agree to a trial separation. Just make it clear that you still love them but you want to do what they feel is best for them right now.
Don't involve anyone else in your marriage troubles. This includes your parents, in-laws, children and mutual friends. Once you include another party your spouse may feel that you've violated not only their privacy but the privacy of your marriage as well. It's very difficult if your spouse is confronted by another person and asked to talk about your marriage. This can actually cause your spouse to feel resentment towards you that may be very hard for him or her to overcome. Keep your marriage issues between the two of you.

Unfortunately there are times when one partner in a marriage decides they want a divorce, even if the other still wants to work on the relationship. There are things you can do, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was. For more advice on what to do when your marriage is in serious trouble and steps you can take to save your relationship, visit this helpful site.

Google Evil ?

Some serious aligations against Google... Give me your views.... Google's immortal cookie:Google was the first search engine to use a cookie that expires in 2038. This was at a time when federal websites were prohibited from using persistent cookies altogether. Now it's years later, and immortal cookies are commonplace among search engines; Google set the standard because no one bothered to challenge them. This cookie places a unique ID number on your hard disk. Anytime you land on a Google page, you get a Google cookie if you don't already have one. If you have one, they read and record your unique ID number. Google records everything they can:For all searches they record the cookie ID, your Internet IP address, the time and date, your search terms, and your browser configuration. Increasingly, Google is customizing results based on your IP number. This is referred to in the industry as "IP delivery based on geolocation." Google retains all data indefinitely:Google has no data retention policies. There is evidence that they are able to easily access all the user information they collect and save. Google won't say why they need this data:Inquiries to Google about their privacy policies are ignored. When the New York Times (2002-11-28) asked Sergey Brin about whether Google ever gets subpoenaed for this information, he had no comment. Google hires spooks:Matt Cutts, a key Google engineer, used to work for the National Security Agency. Google wants to hire more people with security clearances, so that they can peddle their corporate assets to the spooks in Washington. Google's toolbar is spyware:With the advanced features enabled, Google's free toolbar for Explorer phones home with every page you surf, and yes, it reads your cookie too. Their privacy policy confesses this, but that's only because Alexa lost a class-action lawsuit when their toolbar did the same thing, and their privacy policy failed to explain this. Worse yet, Google's toolbar updates to new versions quietly, and without asking. This means that if you have the toolbar installed, Google essentially has complete access to your hard disk every time you connect to Google (which is many times a day). Most software vendors, and even Microsoft, ask if you'd like an updated version. But not Google. Any software that updates automatically presents a massive security risk. Google's cache copy is illegal:Judging from Ninth Circuit precedent on the application of U.S. copyright laws to the Internet, Google's cache copy appears to be illegal. The only way a webmaster can avoid having his site cached on Google is to put a "noarchive" meta in the header of every page on his site. Surfers like the cache, but webmasters don't. Many webmasters have deleted questionable material from their sites, only to discover later that the problem pages live merrily on in Google's cache. The cache copy should be "opt-in" for webmasters, not "opt-out." Google is not your friend:By now Google enjoys a 75 percent monopoly for all external referrals to most websites. Webmasters cannot avoid seeking Google's approval these days, assuming they want to increase traffic to their site. If they try to take advantage of some of the known weaknesses in Google's semi-secret algorithms, they may find themselves penalized by Google, and their traffic disappears. There are no detailed, published standards issued by Google, and there is no appeal process for penalized sites. Google is completely unaccountable. Most of the time Google doesn't even answer email from webmasters Google is a privacy time bomb:With 200 million searches per day, most from outside the U.S., Google amounts to a privacy disaster waiting to happen. Those newly-commissioned data-mining bureaucrats in Washington can only dream about the sort of slick efficiency that Google has already achieved. You bet they are serious and we never knew.... For more details refer... http://www.google-watch.org/bigbro.html